It’s time for a bit of a life update.
A few weeks ago, I had my first ever trial shift in a “real” kitchen. I absolutely hated it. It was everything that I had dreaded working in a kitchen would be like – chefs yelling at each other, food being slopped onto plates as quickly as possible, dockets full of food orders piling up faster than anybody could handle – a complete stress fest. Definitely not an environment that I was designed to work in.
In the car on the way home, and for the next few days, I felt deflated. I thought this was what I wanted. I thought I wanted to be a chef. I knew what to expect. I thought I could handle it. I guess I just loved food so much that I thought any career that allowed me to be around it all the time would be the one for me. I guess I was wrong.
That’s what hurt the most. Being wrong. Again. I thought I wanted to do a science degree – wrong. I thought I wanted to be a chef – wrong. I convinced myself that I was a failure and whatever I wanted to do next would also be wrong.
What would I even want to do next? I have no interests besides cooking. I don’t have any talents. I don’t have any qualifications, apart from one I don’t even need now. How am I supposed to tell everybody that I chickened out of being a chef after being in a kitchen one time? How weak does that make me look?!
After having a massive internal breakdown about my future, I somehow managed to convince myself that acknowledging what makes me happy and changing my life plan to suit that is brave and not weak. My goal in life is to be happy and to be surrounded by happiness. Being a chef, working crazy hours in a high-pressure setting is not going to make me happy, so it’s not for me. Fortunately, I figured that out early. I hit a bump in the road, but sitting around and worrying about the fact that it happened rather than just getting over it would be a waste of time.
So what’s next for me? Well, I still love food. Pretty much more than anything. I want food to be a big part of my life, and I know that it can be. I’m still trying to figure out the exact career path I want to take, but for now, I’ll be working on nutrition. I started studying Food Science and Nutrition at university last week, which is a combination of the two things I’ve ever wanted to study in my life. I’m hoping this course will be a happy medium for me.
I’ll also be taking time to work on myself. I want to find more things that make me happy. I want to start saying yes to new experiences. I want to get healthy. I want to get strong. I want to take care of myself better. I’m just going to take this whole experience as a fresh start and hope for the best.